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My Partner is Such a Flirt

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My Partner is Such a Flirt

Dear Lynda

My partner is such a flirt.  Every time we go out, he spends more time eyeing up other women than paying any attention to me.  It doesn’t matter if we’re out for dinner or at the supermarket, it’s so embarrassing and humiliating. When I pull him up about it, he says I’m being too sensitive.  Am I overreacting?

Dear Embarrassed

I can understand why you are so frustrated with your partner.  Flirting can be a harmless interaction but it can also be hurtful and damaging to our self-esteem.  You are allowed to be sensitive about this and you are entitled to your feelings.  If you’re respect for him is dwindling, it will harm you both so you need to communicate.

Sitting down and having an honest conversation is a start.  Explain how it makes you feel rather than being accusatory.  Don’t be afraid to say it makes you feel unattractive or unloved if that’s your experience.  It’s also a good idea to look at other areas of your relationship.  Flirting can be a way of getting attention, you can ask him if his needs are being met.  Could he be feeling unloved or rejected?

The most successful partnerships are those that address problems as a whole, rather than one blaming the other.  These kinds of issues can be complex and difficult to sort out by ourselves, so asking for help can be very beneficial.  Relationship Counselling helps you to see each other from a new perspective and find ways to work together. 

Best of luck